rental cars and fishnet stockings

Kristen is getting married in 4 days, in case you forgot. I need to get my act together. Slideshow, dress and accessories, rental car, hotel room..what have I forgotten? I am a little weirded out. Parting by death is probably a long way off. Picking your man, roommate, father to your children, best friend and financial partner all at once, for forever? Glad its not me making those promises Friday. That's too stressful. I can't imagine finding someone that could fit all those categories. Well, I can imagine just fine, I just can't believe that it'll ever work out. For now, I'll just happily remain in my selfish, irresponsible, fun phase for at least another year. Then I'll still be here, but less happily.

I planned a slough day yesterday. A day to rest, work on projects, do chores, and not drive anywhere far. I was really excited for it; knitting, cleaning, reading, writing, watching the tele. I ended up at the laundromat for 3 hours, cooking and doing dishes, and getting stupid little things done. At one time in my life, this would have been pretty fun. But I was so annoyed. Bored with myself. I never want to stay home for a weekend day again. I'm going surfing.

Part of the problem was that it was a little lonely. I had Melissa, which I am always thankful for, but it still felt quiet. No Kristen. Boy I wanted to see not around. My point in telling this little story is that I think I have made the switch from introverted to extroverted. 51/49 to 49/51. I like a little time to myself if I need to read or write, but other than that I gravitate towards whoever is around. If I have a project to work on, I move the whole thing to where the other people are, no matter how much of a hassle it is. If I want to make some lists or pay some bills, take some notes about a country I'll be visiting, I grab everything, find Melissa, and plop down by the closest flat surface. I even like to sleep around other people.

I have always been proud of my introvertedness. Like I had some sort of mystical power that allowed me to be more independent. Allowed me to keep some secrets and do my own things. Now, I'm just one of those people people. I need the people. I cannot be a gorilla researcher. I cannot travel alone. Don't get me wrong, I still dislike parties where I don't know people. I hate crowds. I shop at night when other people don't get in my way. I don't really like meeting new people unless I know they will be a good friend. I have just realized that in my down time, I need companionship. I need to share what I am doing or thinking about with someone that will share my joy/disgust. Do I get some kind of prize for learning something new about myself?