Buffy

What my dead chicken taught me about life

I am mourning the loss of my dear pet Chicken, Buffy. Buffy and Dotty were my first warm-blooded pets. I kept tropical fish when I was young, which are really fun and I loved putting my hands on the side of the warm tank and watching them move so elegantly through the water. Tropical fish trapped in a tank the size of a large house (relatively) don't live that long, so I became accustomed to their death. But, I loved keeping the tank, shopping for cool new fish with babysitting money, and caring for them.

Buffy and Dotty were part pet, part farm animal. For a relatively small amount of investment you get fresh, delicious eggs from animals that have a really nice life instead of a most horrible and tragic life in a tiny cage. Good karma, good souffle, and unexpectedly, good times. Mike and I would spend time with the birds out in the yard. They are as relaxing to watch as those fish, but to my surprise, worked their way into my stone cold heart. There is something about a little critter, running excitedly towards you, sitting in your lap and trusting you with their life that brings you back to life. Buffy liked to be held, liked to follow you around, and seemed to understand how you were feeling.

When Elroy, the rooster, was discovered to be a rooster, it was a bad day. We just couldn't keep a rooster, bothering the neighbors and making trouble for our hens. We didn't want to give him away to die at the hands of someone else, because he too, was our little pet. Mike killed him, honorably, and he was laid to rest in our woods. Mike was so upset over the experience. I found Mike sitting in the garden with the hens scratching around the orchard near him. His head in his hands, Buffy jumped up in his lap and sat with him for a while. This was the only time she ever did this.

Buffy got sick when it was below freezing for a week. By the time we realized that she was ill, it was too late. We tried to give her meds, brought her into a cage in the house, and fed her blended food from a syringe. I held her and checked on her for about 2 weeks. She slowly faded and finally died last weekend. I have been so upset. 

She was just a chicken right? Get a hold of yourself! Let me roll my eyes at you! She was just a chicken with a small brain and skinny legs, but she awakened in me a love for life. A part of me went from self-concern to caring about another living thing. God created all creatures, great and small, and I understand now that each living thing is a little miracle in itself. How does life happen? Life that turns a bit of carbon into a bit of something that interacts and has a place in this spinning world. Every living thing, has a ripple effect on everything else. Life is a rainstorm of droplets, each living thing affecting another. I did not really consider animals, and now I am beginning to see and understand these species that God wanted us to share the planet with. Food, pets, biological balance. Things are always more complex than they seem at first and we should be humbled.

boastful

The other day someone used the word boastful. It got stuck in my brain and it seems oh-so-relevant these days. Boasting is not a good word. It's got a negative connotation and you don't want to do it. It seems though, that boasting has crept back into our daily lives through facebook and other self-professing digital forms (like this blog). There is a big gray area that lives somewhere in-between celebrating, informing, sharing, connecting, bragging, fishing for compliments or pity, and boasting.

When a person posts a photo of their child along with an accomplishment or special moment, is there a way to do it that seems grateful and humble? Is there a time that it's okay to post a photo of your shiny new house with granite counter tops? Are those trip photos to get ahead in some kind of emotional contest, or are the images something you really want to share because of their artful content? Are all the posts trying to show that you have the life you want, whether you do or not? Is it all about intention, or is it merely a skill in writing that makes it sound right? This age of digital communication makes the tone and delivery of a message very hard to decipher.

What about the people who don't have children and houses or trips and expensive date night dinners, and wish they did? Do we need to consider other people's feelings? Has our main form of keeping in touch become a one way street (I self-promote, you respond)? It's each our own responsibility to manage our emotions and be content with where we are at, or else make the tough changes that create the life we are created for. So if someone feels bad that they don't have what another person is showcasing, that's their own issue? I'm not certain. Somewhere in there, lies boasting, and not only is it rude, but it's toxic to all.

I know a handful of people that are truly humble. They hold grand achievements and beautiful secrets. You find out one day about their life's treasures, and it is pure delight to celebrate them and their efforts. But you never hear it from them. They have no need to tell everyone their business, even if they have beautiful business to share. I don't know what shapes these peoples' spirits and how they got to be so gracious. I do know that this seems a lot more like who I want to be.