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Fortunately, Unfortunately

1. Opening day of Sailing After Work season, since it's light out until 7:45.
2. Having most of my basil seedlings succumb to mold.
3. Finding a renewed interest in exercise and healthy food.
4. Still having over half of my pants too tight to be comfortable. 
5. Going to Italy soon with my family and my nice boyfriend.
6. The Fleet Foxes refuse to put out a new album or have a concert.
7. Doing okay financially working 30 hours a week.
8. Grass in the parking strip is growing again. Growing = Mowing.
9. Seems most of my friends seem to be surviving turning 30.
10. I really do not want to turn 30 in 5 months.
    
11. New job is still way better than my old one.

sleeping in the van

Early spring camping. A nice, but cold, break from the rest of my life.

weird, bad day

I was preparing to write today about this nice man named Mike, who as of today has been my only love interest for an entire year straight. It's been a really fun and exciting year, full of humble learning and immense freedom. He is so kind and interesting to me. I was just telling him that I feel strange that he seems more like daily bread to me than cake. All of my romance up until a year ago has been like cake. Are my feelings towards him supposed to feel like cake, above the ordinary and full of emotion and frosting? Or is feeling like he is my bread the real way that people exist together in life?

I had thought that we might go out to dinner or drink some wine at home and be happy, but then there was bad news this afternoon. My Grandpa Earl, who hasn't been feeling well, has cancer. Grandpa, who is the very hinge pin on which my mother's entire family depends, has cancer. He has always been, along with my grandma before she passed away, an immense source of peace and refuge for all of us. Grandpa is our safety net. Our home base. The person we turn to when life doesn't make sense. I'm just not sure what anyone is going to do without him. I've been going around crying for 5 hours, beside myself. It feels like someone pulled the rug out from under my brain.

So Mike is making dinner in the kitchen and I've been floundering around, putting a cold washcloth on my face. Life is so weird. We just don't realize it most of the time.