Just completed the annual holiday office gathering for 2005. My third gathering. There was chatting, and eating, and drinking of wine. The highs and lows of the year. The standard gift bags with local gift certificates.
After the party ended, and all the parents had left to gather their chicks, I helped to clean up. Everyone was gone except one young guy and one boss. We got to talking before I left and had a long conversation about what it is that people are doing with their lives. We all had the sense that you've got to go bravely after a meaningful, personal life or else the pull of wealth and stuff and American style success takes you over. My boss has friends in their 50s that never went and did the things that they wanted to. Something about fear and expectations and apparent responsibilities kept them from it and now they wonder what it is that they have instead.
The discussion was based upon my trip, but it wasn't traveling that we were talking about. It wasn't even being abroad or any place in particular. Theres just this thing called the rat race that gets you. Sucks you in. And you have to fight against it and decide when you have enough. I heard stories of people who picked up their families and tried something new. Something they could have more ownership in and it worked out for them. And then the people that had a period of abundant life, and lost it again along the way. It was encouraging and scary. So few people seem to find what it is that they are looking for. And I believe that we will never be completely settled in this world. Not when greed and world policing are the order as perfect children die of preventable diseases. There has to be something that you will look back on and say, 'that was my best decision.' What will it be? Something that you can feel satisfied with or something that seems mediocre?
Maybe for me, I will say, traveling around the world in my twenties. Or marrying that great man that I always waited for. Or having my sweet babies that taught me more about humanity than all my months abroad. Or maybe when I moved to the beach in Mexico and surfed to my heart's desire. Or when I bought that piece of land with my friends and lived in the country, in peace. Oh, I could think of more things all day long. Maybe I'll write them all down someday in case someone else runs out of ideas and needs one.
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