"Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence. Get me back. Get me back. I don't care what happens to me. Only get me back to my wife and kids. Help me, Clarence, please! Please! I want to live again!"
Every day since I quit my job, has been the best day of my life. You are thinking, "couldn't be that bad...you're just being dramatic." What I mean is that I have been transported to a state of my life that has helped me to realize how wonderful it really is. I am living in an endless weekend, where people are spoiling me with fun. Christmas, family and friends. Everyone is paying their last respects and no one can be angry with me because they may never see me again (or so it seems.) I ask if someone can make time for me, and they do. They drive from all over to visit, bring gifts and tell me nice things about myself and that they will miss me. They are jealous and know I will have a great time, as if I was a movie star.
Right now I am thinking, why am I leaving? This is great! I can't imagine much better. Why am I not just going on a 10 day disneyland vacation and returning back to this magical life where snowboarding, good friends and free time could await me? Maybe even a boy that would date me. I have freedom to burn all the candles, to throw away old junk that I know I don't need anymore, to drink that special bottle of rum, to invite 10 people over every night, to eat whatever tastes good and to be wonderfully careless and unproductive with my time.
Then I must remember my old life. My job. My restlessness. My overwhelming desire to see new things, to sketch different places. To write about different foods and exhilarating experiences. When I remember these things, I know that going was what I had to do. Without the going, there would be no appreciation for what I had and what I will have again. If there is anyway that you could have this out of body experience like I am having, without actually going, I would recommend it. Drink your rum, throw away your junk, and invite your friends over like it is your last chance.
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