you get what you pay for

Two words. Bad. Haircut. I thought 27.5 was too old to cry about a haircut, but apparently it is not. I did wait until I was in private, but then I cried a good long cry for the hair that I had lost and the awkwardness left on my head that I get to deal with for the next 6 months.

I went in for a trim at the Aveda Gary Manuel Academy on Capitol Hill for my usual $20, good but not great haircut. After a lot of confusion about who my appointment was with, I ended up going back with Amelia, who had obviously been cutting hair for less than a month. I sat there while she tried to get her competency rating for remembering the "5 R's", which are a sort of marketing system that they use. Like haircutting 101. Which she was trying to pass. While I sat there.

Somewhere in between me wanting a 4 of 10 on the how-much-change-do-you-want scale, and explaining exactly how short my layers should be, I watched in horror as at least 4 inches of my nice, long, silky hair fell off the top of my head and onto the gown. I stopped her 3 times to say that it seemed like too much. Was she sure that so much should be so short? Didn't she know that it was going to be shorter when it dries and when I part my hair on the side? After the 3rd time that I expressed my concern, and after most of my 'layers' had been completed, she finally stopped reassuring me and went to get her instructor, who tried to soften and blend the damage.

The entire top half of my hair now falls to above my chin, while the rest of it is blended down into layers that end up just below my shoulders. I look like a mushroom. I look trashy. Like that trashy lady that you saw the other day in the grocery store buying ding dongs and beer in her sweatpants and outdoor slippers. Every morning I hope that it will be better after my shower, and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow out.

I have to wear the short half up in a clip, while the bottom half stays down to give the appearance that my hair is still long. So far, just a few people have noticed, so it's working. Even my own mother didn't say anything, which is great (and maybe a result of leaked information from my brother to keep quiet). If I just keep wearing my clip and sporting the old styles that I used in the 7th grade when I was growing out my bangs, no one will have to tell me that I look cute with my new fun layers.

If you see me, pretend like nothing has happened. If you really do think that it looks fine, please keep it to yourself. I know it's awful and I will just think that you are patronizing me. Someday, it'll be okay. Maybe after 3 months, I can get the bottom trimmed up again and it will look closer to fine. Just know that I'm going to a real salon and paying $50 if I have to. I'm no fool! It's just not worth it. Sometimes my cheap, Dutch ways can really get the better of me. Or at least the better part of my looks.