A call from the doctor yesterday afternoon:
"I looked at your CT scan films. You do have two fractures in your jaw, and they are a lot worse than I first thought. You really must have hit hard. I mean you really have some damage. The lower fracture runs lengthwise a couple of inches. The upper fracture in your joint goes all the way through. I'll show you when you get in. I think wiring is the best option and most cost effective, but I am going to have to keep you wired shut for 6 weeks. Do you remember that I said 2 or 3 weeks before? It's going to take at least 6 because these are major bone fractures..."
I did remember him saying that 2 or 3 weeks wired would be a worst case scenario. Alas. I'm going in for the tie down at 1pm today. I'm trying to make mental peace about it. Saying goodbye to my tongue. Imagining sucking milk shakes through the sides of my teeth. It's going to be intense. And the worst part is that I can't go surfing until they take the wires off. And I'm probably going to lose 30 lbs, so my clothes won't fit.
I'm sort of over it already. I start to shake with nervousness when I think about being wired shut. It's so claustrophobic. Other than that, everything has pretty much turned out to be the worst case scenario and I have grown tired of reacting. My soul knows that somehow, someday I am going to be in one piece again. I am thankful to have the opportunity to be repaired instead of going without like most people in this world have to. My mind is on autopilot now. It will take a lot to surprise me at this point.
Numbness and humor are my coping mechanisms. I've never been funnier! Not sure if it's the drugs or just me, but my friends have never laughed more. I have found that when sad things happen to me I just make light of them until I have distanced myself enough to really deal with them. So maybe in 6 months, after the wires and root canals and crowns I will have to face the facts and deal with all of this. Until then, it's just my deadpan face and a constant stream of sarcastic humor. Whatever works, right?
Wish me luck! T minus 4.5 hours.
3 comments:
thinking of you so much!!
you have a great attitude!!
xox
Tricia,
I read about this yesterday. I'm so sorry about your accident and praying for you over here in Spokane. At least you won't have to make awkward small talk with people you don't like for a while.
Grace and Peace,
Asher
Hang in there Tricia...you will be in one nice piece again! The time will pass, and when its all said and done, will feel like it wasn't that long. Let's go get a shake at Kidd Valley!!
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