it's too late, baby

Today I broke up with my car. She was driven away and won't be coming back. I feel defeated. I once thought that I would keep that car forever. I would fix and restore and love on it until the end of my days. I did fix and restore and love on it for the last two years. It was a symbol of my idealism and I poured my efforts into it. My old car made me feel good about myself in the same distorted way a rich man feels about his new BMW.

Perhaps my priorities have shifted since then. I want to be mobile. I have never had a car that I could trust to get me over a mountain pass, or across the country. I want to be warm and dry inside it in the winter. I want to fit my friends in and have them be comfortable and not afraid. I don't want to see rain in the forecast and think first about my car flooding and second about the trees that need water. All of these things have eclipsed my desire to restore a fabulous old thing to its glory. I didn't have it in me to put up with it anymore.

My conflict of interest is confusing. I am not sure why I decided to sell it now or even why I bought it. No matter my emotions, it's on its way now to a new life. A life with a 17 year old high school boy who is too tall to even fit inside it. He must have powder blue stars in his eyes like I did. I will not miss the lack of defrost, the puddles which formed after a few rainy days and the suspension that always made me wish I was wearing a sports bra. I will miss and always remember how little kids would shake their mom's hands, smile and point to me as I drove by. I suppose that will always be my reaction too when I see a Ghia drive by. A toast to my car: the best looking thing I will ever drive.















It used to be so easy drivin round with you
You were light and breezy
And I knew just what to do
Now you look so rusty
And I feel like a tool

And it's too late baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and
I can't find it
And I just can't fix it

There'll be good times again for me and you
But we just can't stay together
Don't you feel it too
Still I'm glad for what we had
And how I once loved you