influenza

This morning in the Safeway parking lot I coughed something up so solid, it could only have been a piece of my lung. What's left of my lungs feels immobilized by a painful web of foreign fibers. Coughing feels like a small fire that spreads through the fibers in slow motion. I try to avoid coughing, which is done by avoiding breathing, which is a huge bummer. The thought of someone plunging a knife in between my shoulder blades sounds good - like it would relieve some pressure or cramping back there. My nose runs, but that's the least of my issues.

These dramatic symptoms are what is left of my first true experience with the flu. Last week on Wednesday I spent the last half of the day shivering at my office desk while wearing my down ski coat zipped up to my chin. I figured something was up, but wasn't sure quite what. By the time I got close home on the bus I had to hold my head up with my arm propped against the window. I got inside, got some water, ate an english muffin, and made my way to bed. I got mostly undressed by the time I had to fall into bed. I pulled all the covers up over my head and proceeded to lay there, like I would do for the next 14 hours. I grabbed my thermometer before I got into bed, and so after the pounding in my head relented slightly I removed my head from the covers and took my temperature. 102.5 degrees. I popped a few pills for my headache, cried a little, and fell asleep.

Around 2 am, my fever went away. I got up, had a snack and went back to bed. I spent the next 2 days at home, feeling exhausted. When I thought I was getting better, I'd get up and do something, get dizzy, a headache and have to go back to bed. Even today, 4 days later, I feel exhausted. I plan on going to work tomorrow even though I am wheezy and snotty and possibly still contagious. I tried to stay in this weekend and not get too close to children if I did go out.

Is this swine flu? I don't know. Is it horrible? Yes. I do know that. A man in his 20's died today from the flu in Thurston County. He was recovering, but developed a fatal complication that remained unnamed by the reporter. I don't think I am going to die, but it sure crossed my mind that first night. My sister, coincidentally came down with all the same symptoms as me a day earlier and my aunt and uncle are sick too. I bet a lot of people's sisters and aunts and uncles are sick right now. What a mess.