yame

I've traded my mawashi geri for some church ladies and a treadmill. At least for the moment, which is all any of us can really plan for anyway. I have a lot on my mental plate right now. Money, real estate, commitment, family, vocation, education, relocation, and recreation. A whole lot of adult responsibility, when my inner kid is SO very tired of waiting for recess.

Karate has gone from fitness and community to fear and guilt. It no longer fills me up, it brings me down. I'm scared the guy who is high and drunk isn't going to be able to control those very large fists and feet of his. I'm tired of a dojo filled with garbage and mold and skunky smoke. The guys I have trusted have been coming less and less, and now I just feel like I don't fit in. So enough! I took a long break this summer, and starting back up again has been miserable, so I just stopped going in. I'm getting calls and messages about my attendance, but I can't be responsible for keeping that place warm.

Instead, I've joined a bible study. Church ladies in the most traditional sense. I am going into it half cocked, not really wanting to get my religion on, but wanting to learn and know God, and have some conversations with adults that I don't live or work with. Religion often comes with Christianity, so I'm just going with it. I am enjoying the earnest and kind nature of all these dear ladies. I think it's going to be good. I already have so much to talk and think about, and it isn't related to a home loan, an asking price, or my savings account. Maybe it'll fill my gas tank a little for dealing with the rest, or help me get some perspective on how well cared for I am, no matter where I live or what I do.