2011 by the numbers

Number of blog posts: 13, my all time low. This is because I've been a little on the sad side. Adulthood has caught up with me and I'm looking for a way to live that's fun again.

Weight: 167, my all time high. How does this happen? Again, adulthood.

Fun sailing trips: 3. After Mike stopped living on the boat, we were able to sail it again. My sister joined the crew for the 3 day trip to Bellingham, which was amazing. We went out on a different boat for our wedding, and we took my family out one day on Eider in Bellingham bay.

Husbands: 1. Stuck the landing on that choice. Mike is really nice to be married to.

Weddings: 1. Despite my Grinch-y attitude about the wedding industry as I planned, I had a great time at my wedding and it was a wonderful celebration.

Jobs: 1/2. I only worked half the year. The other half, I've been self-employed with no income, searching for work frantically, and temporarily employed with a small firm in Bellingham. I go to work there again tomorrow, so here's hoping that I can work there for a while, since adulthood costs money.

Surfing: 0. Ah nuts. Why is the ocean so far from here, when it feels so close?

Martial arts studied: 1. I've started Karate class. It's like being in the boys P.E. class, but the other guys are mostly over 60 years old. It smells like a locker room, but I like punching and blocking and doing sit-ups.

Brothers who will survive cancer: 2. We Lenssens are tough. Stephen is doing fine after skin cancer, diligently keeping watch for anything new. Mark was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He'll be treated for 4 months with chemo and then he will be just fine, also keeping watch over the next few years. I alternate from feeling strong about this to feeling ill with sadness knowing the treatment is going to cause him suffering and the thought that Mark, or anyone in my family could die. Death, or the thought of it, makes me angry and sad. Mark and I have too much history and too much future to imagine not having him here.

Amount that I think about my grandparents since moving into their house: Everyday. I used to feel more sad about this, but now I am grateful that I think of them so much. I feel that they are still with me each day. When I go to look for something for the house, It's like a little conversation with Grandma or Grandpa about how they organized and did things. It feels good to have them a part of my everyday life instead of drifting off as a good memory, but with less detail each year.

Pets: 2. I love my chickens! What good girls.

I am happy that it's a new year. I'm tired of feeling depressed and jobless and too tired to live my life. I already feel the tide changing, but a new calendar helps to keep the momentum going. I don't want to live my life just getting by and being responsible. I want to travel again. I want to dance more. I want to get scared on the boat in a windstorm, but then survive. I want to see some new peaks. I want to make a couple new friends a couple new recipes. What's the point of living unless you feel exhilarated sometimes? I want to be a peaceful human being instead of a busy human doing - but if the things I do make me feel more human or more like superwoman, that's even better.