tweeting

This morning I saw a little bird, repeatedly smashing its beak against its own reflection in a parked car's side mirror. I tried to scare it back to good sense with loud clapping, but it just kept on, pop, pop, popping against the glass. I felt bad for it, but shrugged and thought, that's life. May the smartest birds figure out how to do what they are created to do (fly, eat worms, stand picturesquely on flowering shrubs) and the rest will just choose to smash their beaks.

I feel thankful that I have come around to some of my good senses recently. I feel a little more peaceful about my life, even though it is quite up in the air. Our workload at the office has waned to the point where there is nothing for me to do. So I stopped going in. For who knows how long. This week I've been working on my portfolio and plans and kinda of lazing around too. Watching old Sex and the City episodes, cleaning, sorting, weeding, visiting my grieving family. I think it's good for me since I've been a little wound up, like the small bird, for a while. I miss my grandpa and am still exhausting myself trying to think up good schemes about how to keep his house in the family. I have no idea where any money is going to be coming from next month, and I keep trolling the want ads I've already seen and am pondering if house cleaning is really the right path for me next. But overall, I am trying to pause, understand my own reflection, and get to flying around and standing picturesquely on surfboards and sailboats again.