coming around

The worst has past. Or so it seems from here. Last Wednesday the doctor clipped four wires in my mouth and told me to slowly open. Like the crusty lid of a honey jar, it creaked and then fell open. I was so surprised at the sensation, I gasped. The air rushed into my mouth uninhibited and has never tasted sweeter. I reached up and touched my cheek as my jaw actually opened and closed, in a very small way. I spent the next few hours feeling like my tongue was hanging out of my mouth and that I was shouting at everyone. Since then the free exchange of liquids, words, air and food has been intoxicatingly satisfying. Everything tastes 2x as good as it used to. I talk to everyone and just want to get out of breath to feel the way that I can breathe again.

I am not yet allowed to chew. My new jaw bone is still hardening up and if I chew too much I could actually re-break it and have to start over. Which is of course unacceptable and unfathomable. I think if I had to have my jaw wired shut again I would have to be put into a temporary coma because I couldn't possibly handle it. I almost started crying as I walked back to my office after the appointment. The feeling was something between a jail break, looking through my first pair of glasses, Forrest Gump breaking his leg braces off in slow motion and a gorilla jumping off my back. That whole thing was just terrible and I am pretty sure it's behind me now.

Next step: teeth. I need to go to the dentist once my jaw feels more comfortable and I am more comfortable with bad news. I will find out how much work I need and how much it will cost. My bite is feeling pretty good, so maybe I can escape adult braces and just get some new front teeth. I have heard that the whole process is quite simple these days. Who doesn't have a crown? I will join the broad ranks of hockey players, boxers, bar fighters, roller derby players and those who once tripped and get some fake teeth. Maybe they will look better than what I had before? I could go more square, more round, longer, shorter...there are options. Gold, silver, white. Maybe I could get them to inlay jewels or trinkets in the front. Maybe spell out my name across both of them?

For now, I am fine. I have spent the weekend slowly eating the world's smallest bites of food, going right past chewing, straight to swallowing. Everything tastes so incredible, it's like I can taste it with my very soul. I visited my Grandpa and ate fish and chips, made pancakes at home this morning and had fish tacos without the taco tonight with some of Claire's friends in Eastlake. I have sneezed, yawned, brushed and whistled without reserve.

Here is a photo of one of my poppies in my garden, which coincidentally seems to have arrived this week as well.