ride um

The drive to Oudtshoorn was very therapeutic. Being away from the walls and electric fences of Capetown and close to green hills with coastal views was a relief. I began to get really excited to see South Africa. We had booked ourselves at a hostel called Paradise. To get there the Baz Bus dropped us off at the McDonalds parking lot and the hostel sent a shuttle down to fetch us. We drove from there through more beautiful countryside and up a pass into the mountains. Along the roadside, we saw a baboon! I had just heard a story from our new British friend Pill about how a boy was disembowled just the other day by a baboon out on the Cape Penninsula. That was after she went out on a tour and the baboons at the same place got into their van and stole a lot of food from them. Glad to know that they keep taking tourists to the same spot. Seems like the right thing to do.

After an hour of green mountain sides and light brown pastures we were in Oudtshoorn, which means ostrich. I looked up out my window and there they were! Fields and fields full of them! I laughed at their skinny legs, big, big fluffy feathered bodies and those long flexi necks with teeny tiny heads. They were a lot bigger than I expected; taller and their bodies even more disproportionate than they seem in pictures. Unfortunate beasts, they are. We pulled into Paradise and the owners showed us around the place. We had heard that it lived up to its namesake, and discovered for ourselves when we saw the bunk beds with reading lights. Wide, comfy beds with fluffy down comforters. I think they were nicer than my bed at home! May seem trivial to you, but for me it was worthy of celebration (that being getting into bed at 9:30 and reading for hours before actually falling asleep.) We enjoyed the other amenities like a tiny swimming pool, plenty of sofas, and towels.

The next day we rented mountain bikes. It was part of a tour, of course, and they drove us to the top of swartburg pass and let us ride down. The views were spectacular! We saw green patchwork hills that seemed to go on forever, although I knew that the Indian Ocean We could see farmer’s fields and dutch style barns along the way. I saw a farmer with his shovel stop digging and put his hands on his hips and look out at his rows. From under his red baseball cap he seemed to be enjoying the view as much as I was. We also saw a woman carrying a watermelon on her head, walking down the road. That reminded me that I wasn’t in Europe, I was in Africa.

The riding wasn’t too difficult at first. It didn’t help though once we were down on the flats that it was around 95 degrees and a strong wind was blowing uphill. It felt sort of like riding into a giant hairdryer. Which is why stopping at the dutch tea house was so wonderful. It was this old estate founded by early Afrikaners that was set in a beautiful valley with lots of green grass, a stream, a cute white house and lots of flowers. The most important element though, was the swimming pool. The tour group always sends their people in there for lunch in exchange for free swimming. It was cold and clear and surrounded by lounge chairs and umbrellas. HEAVEN. I was so hot, and it was so wonderfully cold. We stayed for three hours sunning, swimming and eating. We tore ourselves away because we had another 10 kilometers to ride before reaching the farm.

We rode on through a stronger, hotter wind to the Oudtshoorn Ostrich Farm. For the price of a latte you can get a short tour, learn ostrich anatomy and yes, you guessed it, ride the ostrich. We toured with these two Austrian guys that we had rode down the pass with, then met up with at the pool. We approached the ostrich pen with dust at our heels and our eyes narrowed into slits, preparing ourselves for the beasts. Honestly, I had not yet decided if I would ride one. They had one unfortunate specimine trapped in this wood harness so that we could get on and try it out. I saw Melissa and the two boys climb up there one at a time and exploded into fits of laughter. It was hilarious to see them on top of those skinny legs and behind that teeny tiny head. I hopped on too and imagined the feeling of setting off into the sunset atop one of these birds.

The guys clambered up the fence and with the help of the farm hands jumped onto the bird’s back, put the wings over the legs and held on to the base of the wing while leaning way back. They took the cloth bag off from the birds head (they are so dumb that if they can’t see you, they think we can’t seem them and don’t get scared) and they were off! I almost fell off the wood seats it was so funny. They each lasted about 8 seconds as the birds darted and ran around. Melissa was up next and put on a fine show of it. She stayed on for a while before falling into the arms of the farm hand who was spotting. The video is great because you can hear Melissa laughing and screaming from on top of the creature and me laughing and trying to hold the camera still. My ride was terrific. The thing was so fast and headed us straight for the fence before darting away at the last minute. I was cracking up while trying to hold onto the wings and keep my balance. I felt generally really bad for the birds, carrying around the heavy arses of scores of tourists each and every day. I felt better knowing that their brains are the size of marbles and they probably don’t remember what happened 1 minute later. The experience was completely worth a Vivace tall two percent anyday.

That evening we ate ostrich steak barbequed at Paradise. Seemed a fitting end to our time in the valley. It was good.